Dealing with extremely conservative Christians can be difficult for progressives. It is not uncommon for values to clash. When values clash emotions can flare. Next thing you know, an argument is starting.
If there is any theological catch phrase that is symbolic of the rift between the progressive and conservative wings more than any other, it is probably “Are you saved?” Of course, progressives generally don’t use the same theological language as conservatives, usually as a result of intentional jettisoning. Still, conservatives I’ve met expect progressives to operate within their concepts, while at the same time refuse to work with those not their own.
“Are you saved?” is quite an offensive question really. It assumes a posture of superiority and refuses to allow the other to live in a different truth. Add the threat of eternal hellfire for a non-conforing immortal soul, and that the question becomes nothing less than a form of emotional abuse.
So when asked the question, “Are you saved?” how can we deal with the offender in a loving manner? In short: boundaries.